I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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