I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Success! We fucked roommates!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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