This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
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I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
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I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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