why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
