Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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