Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
