No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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