apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
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Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
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She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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