I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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