Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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