I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
