Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
