Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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