I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
