Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
