I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
