I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't deserve a penis
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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