just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
