and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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