that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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