Christians are straight up FREAKS
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
