And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
