a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
