Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
