Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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