Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
