I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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