i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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