Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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