Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
