It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize