ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
