im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I have post one night stand depression
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
