forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
