I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
