Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
