beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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