My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
