If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
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You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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