stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
