i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza