A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude