dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes