Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
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She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
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i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.