Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
