i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
