the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i dont even know how to be here
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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