I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
