I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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