It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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