He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
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you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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