No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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