You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I had to cum in my sink.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
