Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
