thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
