I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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