Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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