i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
