I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize