so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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