I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
