I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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