what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
